Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Cleaning house. Taking names

Dyson Vacuum In Flight: Afternoon Delight!

     At the beginning of this summer, I crafted a master list of all the tasks and projects that I wanted to get done by Labor day. Call it whatever you like, ("Horseshit that my PA should be doing" is what I call it), it is an ever-changing list that I live by every summer. This year it included over 20 boring jobs  items such as the following:
                                                   Paint entire main floor of rooms inc. trim work.
                                                   Switch out all outlet covers (old ones were yellowed)
                                                   Install shelves and crown moulding 
                                                   Backyard improvements
                                                   Clean and organize lower level.

     That last S.O.B.  item  took me ALL SUMMER LONG to complete. Today it is 90% done (exception is getting my fashion styling clothes and accessories collection shelved and hung in a spare closet. I think that can be done over a bad-weather weekend) 

     Whatever, let's get to the fun rehash of today's basement-cleaning festival. Lisa, my sister, came down around 10 am and she spotted my vintage silver and fur boots on top of a bag of fashion shoot gear. She couldn't kick off her sandals fast enough! All of the sudden she demanded for me to take pictures in the boots.

"Look what I can do- KICK!"- Lisa.
       Apparently, silver boot time was not over yet. This time it lasted even longer.
          Eagle Eye McGee (Lisa)  had found my second pair (OH.YES. I have more than ONE pair of vintage silver booties. These are embroidered to the max. They are perfect with 60's mini dresses and Raquel Welch-style racing jumpsuits).  Note she is wearing the one-of-a-kind peanut bracelet I made last year for a show. It is missing one google eye. She wore it home.

           Lisa has clearance to handle my glitters. Some of which are made from the tears of Italian Renaissance cherubim. (I think that is where Martha Stewart sources her line of glitters. Pretty certain anyway.)

      Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot Stuuuuufuf. Donna Summer 70's Rollerskating sessh redux. Complete with peanut bracelet and DUBBLE COMBS. You think she waited around long during slow skate? Uh no. Check it.
      Well, it wasn't all fun and games, besides being accused of "taking a pill (?)" when I was in fact, scratching my lip and looking up at the ceiling to see if the light was on...(I WISH I had pills to knock me out instead of being bossed around all day. Dang.) I got chastised for being a professional artist with this shitty paper punch. "Is this your paper punch? I mean it's like max one sheet at a time." Her revulsion is written all over her face. Jesus. I wish I had a better paper punch.

In progress: a Green Bay Packers "Overcharmed" charm bracelet I was making for her friend's birthday
             While she was sorting pens, markers, glitter, dead gluesticks, desiccated spiders and jewelry findings, I was making her friend a Packers charm bracelet because that is what she told me I had to do (Best not to question). I used a mix of vintage and new things in this particular one. I have a ton of disassembled vintage jewelry components with which I craft these kinds of bracelets and necklaces. I don't make earrings or rings. So no one ask.

      Final fitting. She wouldn't let me leave my "jeweler's station" until it was done. I was hungry. Tired. Super thirsty. Oh. Did I mention she is my bossy elder sister? She makes me look like a sleepy sloth? It's true.
      After I was released from the charm bracelet gulag, we took a trip to the 66 station to get her favorite treat ( Amish Glazed Popcorn) LAST BAG!

      I took my spoils. I mean, I paid for them and everything. But after all of that work, I splurged on an icy fountain Coke and some snacks. Bowling Alley Food Snack! Lisa bought me some Gold Rush gum (the nuggets in that little canvas drawstring bag as a reward). 

     LESSON: Sometimes all we need is someone to jump in and help you finish a big job. It's kind of the best gift in the world.


1 comment:

  1. Andy Capp Hot Fries? SJM loves those. Can I borrow Lisa to whip my studio into shape? Or would she get too distracted by my real human hair wigs? Your whole house looks amazing - and I love your organized artist retreat. Damn. You need that Marc Jacobs bespoke caftan to enjoy your spoils in leisure.